my Maggie

Today has been a bad day.  On Wednesday we took our dog Maggie to the vet because she seemed to be having an allergic reaction to something.  There we learned that the swelling we saw were swollen lymphnodes.  They ran a test and discovered that my baby dog has lymphoma.  She’s 4 1/2 years old.  She might see 5 but it’s unlikely.  I cant help but reflect on her 2 years with us.  I was 7 months pregnant when we finally ended our long search for a 2nd dog for our family.  The summit county humane society rep stared at us strangely when I (a very pregnant woman) told them that the breed of dog we were interested in was Rottweiler.  I’ve always loved the breed and new that eventually we would find one  that was perfect for our growing family.  Maggie was all that and much more.  When she first came to us she’d recently healed from a broken leg, shattered from being hit by a car.  Her health problems really haven’t ceased since then.  She’s allergic to grains, pollen, and probably a couple of other things.  She’s had whip worms, skin infections and a variety of frustrations with her health.  But lymphoma has shocked us.

Sitting her typing this post Maggie’s head is on my lap and it’s impossible to imagine her not here.  Looking at her it’s hard to believe she’s frigtening to some.  In all my life I’ve never met a more sweet natured dog.  Kids love her, people in general cant help but snuggle her.  She’s gentle and not very smart.  She’s kind of lazy and loves food with intensity.  She is just a great dog.  I could use a million words to tell stories funny and sad about how she’s touched our lives and made us better.  But somehow all of that escapes me as I sit here struggling to imagine her wasting away.  I look at our other dog Tykei and want to cry at the thought of her facing life without her sister, her best friend.  I feel overwhelmed when I realize that Connor will never remember Maggie.  He wont recall how giddy she made him feel and how eager he was to always hug and give her kisses.   I’m so sad.  As much as I know we’ll cherish and enjoy these last months, as much as I know she is not in pain and has had a good life I feel robbed somehow.  I so much want to have her forever, to give such a sweet animal a long long life of good memories and yummy treats.  But for now I suppose we’ll simply make the best of the time we have.  Oh how I love my Maggie girl.